Odds and Ends

Jun 15, 12:17 PM by Peter Franceschi

So I’m sitting in the parking lot waiting to turn into a space yesterday of my local grocery store. Turn signal on, completely stopped, waiting. Slowly I see a figure encroaching on my left…sluggly moving towards me. I turn just in time to see some 90+ year old woman in a Buick slowly, oh so slowly, backing into me. I lay on my horn for a good 5-10 seconds and she either can’t hear it (Deaf) or can’t see me (Blind) but is, regardless, very (Dumb). And, like a canoe rocking into a dock, she backs right into my car. Mind you, Im still laying on the horn the whole time and she hasnt changed direction. At this point she stops but is still touching my car waiting for me to move. I park it, get out, wrap on her trunk and yell ‘GO THAT WAY’ pointing back into her space, people standing nearby laughed when they heard that. So I park my car in the space I was waiting for and check for damage, thankfully there didnt appear to be a scratch. She came over and I kid you not, this is our conversation:

Her: “What has happened?” (she is not American, thick Russian or Italian accent)
Me: “You hit me.”
Her: “Yes but it was just..you know..touch right. No bad.”
Me: “Well you backed right into me, but I dont think theres any damage…”
Her: “Ok. I go.”
Me: “Be careful next time alright, you didnt even look and I was laying on the horn.”
Her: “I try, you know, I go slow but I not perfect you know. I am old.”
Me: “My grandmothers old too but she doesnt go backing into cars.”
Her: “Ok. Bye now.”
Me: *“Christ you shouldnt be driving…”*

Ah but it gets better.

Driving home from the grocery store Im trying to make a right turn onto my street. On my street is a girl trying to turn left onto the street I’m on. So I begin my turn, she begins hers…and hits a jogger. Without looking at all she just gunned it in her giant red gas-guzzling SUV and took out this poor girl jogger. Clocked her right in the hips and caused her to stagger and practically threw her to the ground but she somehow managed to stay herself. It definitely had to hurt though. The god damn bitch driving the SUV didn’t even get out, stop to see if she was ok, offer help…nothing. She just waves and goes ‘Sorry’....CELL PHONE IN ONE HAND, wheel in the other. The jogger gave her this pissed off look (gee?) and just started walking it off down the street. Seriously, I hope I see that girl on the street someday so I can ‘accidentally’ break her pelvis with the grill of my car. Freaking moron.

And this, my friends, is why driving tests should be yearly. Signal jammers running on the typical GSM/CDMA cell phone bands should be installed in all cars so you cant talk on your damn phones. And why senior citizens shouldnt be allowed to drive after 80. Sorry Seinfeld…drive their age my ass.

Seacrest out.

| Permalink

1. Where I work, I see elderly people barely able to walk, hear, or even see all the time, and they all drove to get there. It makes me scared to have a vehicle in that parking lot (especially because all such vehicles are not my own.) I wouldn’t worry about walking in it, though, because honestly, they’d be driving too slowly to hit me, but for every 85 year old driving, there’s a 16 year old on a cell phone gunning the gas much like the girl in your story as well.
   
   I stay the hell away from that parking lot. :)

   Logan posted Jun 19, 07:37 PM

Previous: Firefox Might Take Over The World

Next: So Long 'Fatalities'